Meles meles or the European badger. A Brock if you like. 40lbs of solid wildlife.
Generally this timid, nocturnal creature causes little interference to humans, give or take the odd bit of TB or a badly placed sett.
The one problem with badgers is their lack of road sense. Now with other creatures such as rabbits this doesn't pose a problem, a light thud, a guilty feeling and it's all over. Not with badgers...
I take you back to Monday night. I'm on the way to work to start my 2nd night shift. Out side my house there are currently some roadworks that have closed the road. I decided, as I had a little time to take the scenic route. It pops me out right by station and breaks the monotony of nipping through the housing estate.
I had had a good day. I was chilled out, having had a bath, a good sleep and nice meal. Driving down the lanes I see ahead a badger, trotting down the road, he disappears in to the hedge. Thinking nothing of it I continue, approaching a corner and the spot whet Mr badger had disappeared. The without warning and like a shot he flew into the road. In a split second I had to make a choice. Hit or try and miss. Having hit one before and needing to replace an entire steering system I went for the miss. I hit the brakes. Hard. The wheels locked on the wet, muddy road. All I could see ahead was a large oak tree...
Somehow, most likely by luck not skill a regained enough control to miss the tree, putting the car into the hedge and bank. Hard.
No for those of you worried about the badgers welfare, wether he got home for Valentines day I can assure you he is fine. Perhaps even laughing at me.
My car on the other hand was resting in the hedge looking sorry for itself. Me standing next to said car, shaking, feeling sorry for myself.
Then came the worry of "I'm in the middle of nowhere, car in the hedge and IM GOING TO BE LATE TO WORK!"
To my relief the car started and unpicked itself from the hedge with minimal fuss. There was, however, a worrying, steaming wet patch on the bank. Turns out I smashed the radiator to bits. Cue frantically ringing round garages, trawling the web for parts. Cue 5 days without my car. Cue a repair bill to the tune of £220. Cue relentless jokes, badger references and risk of badger related gifts for a while from friend, family and colleagues.
Brilliant.
I remember when we hit a badger near buckland, skidded with the thing under the rear wheel, silly sod picked himself up, gave us a mean look and trotted on his way. damn things are indestructable.
ReplyDeleteYou know those Muppets that dart out infront of you when you're on blues? Well this is the badger version.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I drove from Hastings to Edinburgh, overnight. I had had my car for just over a week, a brand new Merc. (Company Car I hasten to add).
Driving cross country, to avoid a couple of Motorway Hotspots, I had an altercation with a fox.
Merc front end @ 50mph + fox = £4,796+VAT
It also means every dog that passes said Merc, will spend 5 minutes sniffing the wheel arch before passing on it!
On a side note, does anyone know what sound a Badger makes?
**pissing on it!
DeleteBadgers also carry knives, be very careful...
ReplyDelete